Will I always be alone?

You have to get out around people to like social church suppers, social parties good ones like they have in local communities Bingo, they have suppers and dances usually going on. Go out with your girlfriends each week for a night on the town. It is never too late.

I was signing off and your post caught my eye. I have been here for quite some time in the "Non-Hodgkis Lymphoma" group and my first post at Support Groups was "Single with Lymphoma...does it get any worse?" Since that time I have not only learned how to deal with lymphoma with grace, but I have recently gotten engaged.

I have been single since I separated with my ex in 1996 (yes, 1996) and raised my boys by myself. I was looking at an empty nest (soon) and wondering like you if I was to be alone for the rest of my life. I think the turn-around came when I turned my attitude around. By being happy, it seems I attracted just the right person. I met him through on-line dating. I also have had many many bad dates through on-line dating, but the one for me was there also looking. We knew almost immediately that we were meant to be together (we even went to the same High School, although we didn't know each other -- what are odds in that?) We are both musicians (he plays the violin, and I play the piano). Be sure your profile says exactly who you are. Be sure to advertise what you are looking for and have an up-to-date picture. I did all those things (my headline was "Classical musician looking for same...) and he found me!

There is hope but you need to stay positive. The one good thing now is that we really appreciate each other because of all that we have been through.

I wish you the best.

Forever - well, put me into the category of worthless no good cast off guys.
"eliminate ... the alcoholics ...seem to think they can hook a 20 year old."
But, I met my (ex) wife through on line dating. We had a lot of good years together, but I broke one of my key rules - too much (of her) family involvement!

Kitcat "social church suppers, social parties good ones like they have in local communities Bingo" None of those guys like to drink (too much) or gamble???

I know, keep it positive here at SG! Maybe you could find some guy here at SG who is NOT an alcoholic, druggy or gambler. Some guy who would really enjoy spending time with your family?

Well at least you made me laugh departure. The 'worthless cast offs' would be men who have been physically or mentally abusive to their spouse or children.

As far as drugs and alcohol, I'm on this site so I obviously have enough problems of my own so I'm not so inclined to bring that in my life. I already deal with it from 2 of my own children.

I know my post sounded anti men but yes, both sexes have their trust issues when we get older. I just don't like the idea of spending the rest of my life alone but being 51 that's a reality I may need to accept. The idea of starting the whole dating ritual no longer appeals to me like it did when I was young and quite frankly, it sounds like too much energy. LOL

Don't hate on my advice departure, I am trying to be a supportive positive person on here. What do you mean in your post. That there is no such thing? Not understanding what you said about my advice.

I think he was referring to my post Kitkat. Your advice was very much appreciated. It's helpful to know that there is still hope of meeting someone who is good for me. I'm glad you found someone to share your life with. The best to you
Deb

kitcat I apologize - yes you were being supportive which of course is the purpose of this forum. I was not being supportive. Actually your idea of social parties ... is probably on target - any guys who enjoy excessive drinking or partakes of a toke will be noticeable and can be immediately eliminated.

Forever - well at least I gave you a laugh!!!!! Does that count as being supportive??

I receive an email daily from a dating website with potential ladies to contact ...
odd thing is overall they are looking for guys with an income of over $75k/yr.
I generally look through those profiles before I arrive here at SG - I'm sure that influenced my response above.

I had wrote more here, not supportive - that's what the delete key is for!!!

Apology accepted. That is a good idea on the e-mail. I hope it helps her.

Departure, in your case it counts as supportive because your posts are almost always negative. I figure you just need a lot of venting, who but only you knows why you're always 'grouchy'. I'm okay with someone being grouchy if that's what they need so yeah it made me laugh.

I don't understand your point about 'too much of her family involvement' and why you incinuated something about me finding someone who will enjoy spending time with my family (and you put a question mark).

Yes I would expect them to spend time with my family as they would expect me to spend time with theirs. If someone doesn't get along with their own family then I'd question why. I don't want to find someone so we can seclude ourselves from the rest of the world and give up all our friends and families.

It's my experience that dating sites are not a good way to meet someone. Joining classes and such would probably be better but I'm in a remote area so there isn't a whole lot of stuff going on. It would sure be nice to have someone to share my life with though.

I have felt the same way myself... and I am only 26. I feel like my looks have faded after I gave birth to my son almost five years ago and I have been alone ever since. It makes dating hard enough because guys usually head for the hills when they hear I have a four year old. In your case you will have more time to get out there and date.

I have been on the online dating sites as well... at first it was just for a physical companion because I hardly have the time for myself let alone a boyfriend (we all have needs) But then I started talking to a guy that made me change my mind about all that. He made me feel like I was the only woman on the planet and that he really cared for me... until I slept with him and he never called again. Online dating has a LOT of that and if that is where you see yourself finding a companion use a site that you have to pay for, because chances are they are more serious about companionship if they are paying to meet someone.

Age should not be an issue for you, we are only as old as we feel! I wish you luck in finding a companion, I like to believe there is someone out there for everyone and that it will happen when you least expect it.