Are you afraid?.............

By Crimson-Regret on Sat, 02-25-12, 10:29

Posted in Group:

some music im listening to keeps asking "are you afraid?" i cant help but in my head scream no and my lips whisper yes. . . it group is called Red and the song is let it burn. they are a christian rock group and i know hes talking to go about sin but it feels like one side of me is screaming at the other side and i just...... uhg.
i just recently got out of a place called shodair. a mental hospital and stayed there a little over two weeks. i didnt see much improvement, but i learned how to put on a fucking bigger act to be happy. i had to cuz other wise i wouldnt be out of there. now i feel fcked over cuz i wanna cut sooooo bad and i did but it feels like the first time i did it again. it hurts like a bitch but i just want it to bleed. gush poison red only i know of and whisper sweet nothings into my ear..... wtf do i do?

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By summerfirefox on Sat, 02-25-12, 11:06

If you need someone to talk to or just to listen, I'm here, just PM me.

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By mstryder on Sun, 02-26-12, 09:44

Crimson-Regret, why do you feel like you had to learn to be an even better actor. Do you want to get better? There surely is a reason why you came here, for support, help, like-minded ppl/people who go through the same struggles as you.
So that means you DO want to get better, right? Because you deserve that! Don't think anything else!
I have never been in a "mental" hospital, all I know of those is what I have seen in movies (which was scary enough), so I can imagine wanting to get out of there asap! - But maybe it'd be a good idea to resume to therapy/counceling out in the 'real world' at least?
I am so sorry to read that you are still cutting. :( I wish there was more I could do to support you, but since this is only online let me at least online-hug you and assure you you're not alone and there IS help!!
We're all here for you. Don't give up! :)

Sending lots of love,

*~+Erin+~*

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